January 15, 2003

I've started to read Rilke

Yes, it's true. I've started reading Ranier Maria Rilke. The library withdrew an old copy of the Duinesian Elegies with German text and translation with commentary. I am thrilled to find out that I still know SOME German from high school.

I'm taking it the slow route, even though my immediate reaction is to plow right through it. I trip that way.

Posted by joan at 07:02 PM | Comments (54)

January 11, 2003

Current situations complicated uncomplication

Right now I'm listening to the wisdom of Lauryn Hill through headphones and thinking about what these next few years hold for me. I'm not sure what sort of career I want. I'd like to leave and move somewhere else, but I am ever afraid that I don't know how. Well, I DON'T know how. There's a lot of things about life that I don't know.

Then again, this could be true of everyone. You can learn through experience, but I keep expecting some book to land in my lap, the answer to all my questions.

I am consumed by my self-doubt. And this whole time, I know it. I am quite self-aware, yes. I am. I usually know how stupid I am, if not in that moment, moments later. So gifted am I in self-consiousness that my life is filled with regret.

Self, self, self.

Tomorrow is Sunday. Outside of self day.

Posted by joan at 08:23 PM | Comments (2158)

January 01, 2003

Happy New Year

Here is an obligatory update. I've been enjoying my vacation very much, and I dread the start of another semester, but I know the kind of stability it can bring.

Hopefully, this year I can keep from drifting.

Posted by joan at 05:49 PM | Comments (863)